It's Super Bowl Sunday - get your drankin' hats on!

It is that time of year again. The day where everyone from the most die-hard sports fan to the people who don't even know what the Super Bowl is will have one very special thing in common - booze! Today, my friends, is Super Bowl Sunday! Typically, I include a quirky fact about some random shit at the end of each of my posts, but allow me to post a couple of interesting facts about the Super Bowl here:

- There will be 8 million lbs. of guacamole consumed today!
- There will be 14,500 tonnes of potato chips consumed today!
- There will be a 20% increase in antacid sales today!
- 6% of employed people will call in sick tomorrow!
- There will be more than $10 billion wagered by more than 50% of adult Americans today!

TEN BILLION DOLLARS!? That sounds like a ridiculous Dr. Evil ransom demand!

"I want a kajillion bajillion dollars!" 

 

 

Yeah, I know it was Tim Robbins' character of the President who said that, but fuck you it's my blog and I'll type whatever the hell I please!

I digress.

The Super Bowl is famously the sporting event where the most money is wagered, most shitty bar-food is eaten and most beer is drank - what's NOT to love about the Bowl!? The NFL has managed to make the Super Bowl one of the most, if not THE most, lucrative annual sporting event on Earth. The revenue generated by the NFL, it's affiliates and it's sponsors on this day is obscene. Everyone and their dog will be watching the Bowl. I, personally, will be at the Sundance on George St. for Bud Bowl, undoubtedly adding to the already massive total of money wagered, food eaten and, yes, beer drank!

Allow me to discuss the game itself. Being a NFL fan for the last 3-4 years, I feel like I can offer an at least somewhat educated opinion on the game and the two teams competing for the Lombardi Trophy - the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers. I could go on and on about the history of these two storied NFL franchises, but I won't bore you with that shit. I have watched just about every game this season, and I am going to focus my discussion on what I personally have seen from these two teams this year.

The Steelers opened the season with consecutive wins, one of which came against my Tennessee Titans in week 2 (lousy pricks!). Their QB, Big Ben Roethlisberger, was suspended for the first 4 games due to an off-field incident this summer (google "Ben rape" and you'll find what I am referring too LOL). It seemed as if the Steelers were in trouble from the outset. But a stellar defense, and surprising play from their offense led by backup QB Charlie Batch, were able to amass a 3-1 record in Ben's absence. After Ben's return, the Steelers really poured it on and went a very impressive 9-3 with him under center, despite all of the controversy that surrounded him and the team. Questions about Ben's future with the team surrounded him all season, but in very Ben-esque fashion, and with the help of some massive seasons from Mike Wallace and Rashard Mendenhall, he was able to overcome the shit and get the job done. While I personally am not a Steelers fan, they are a team that demands respect in the sense that they are an image of what most NFL teams would love to be. What impresses me about the Steelers is that they always play Steelers-football (defense first: they ranked a meager 12th overall in points for, but 1st overall in fewest points for). With such an emphasis on defense (they allowed a league's best 14.5 pts per game - unreal!), watching a Steelers game can be very tough if you like exciting, high-scoring football (like watching the New Jersey devils play hockey, no fucking thank you), but at the same time, I can't help but respect the fact that they have a tight gameplan and stick to it. Although, when I see Ben roll out of the pocket and mail out a bomb to Wallace, that gets me goin' just a bit! My game breaker: SS Troy Polamalu. The defensive player of the year will need to do what he does best in order for the Steelers to pull it out. That is, he is gonna have to shadow the fuck out of the Packers deep threat, Greg Jennings, and pick off Rodgers at least once.

Your sissy voice doesn't match your mad skills, Troy.

Over the course of this season, I developed a bit of a bias towards the Packers. I drafted their QB, Aaron Rodgers, 1st overall in my fantasy pool and he almost led me to a trip to the finals (fuck you, Scotty Don't!). The Packers road to the Super Bowl was much different than the Steelers. Mired by injuries all season, the Packers struggled to establish themselves as a force. Though regarded as a preseason favourite by many, key injuries to Ryan Grant and Jermichael Finley and Brett Favre seemed too much for the Pack to overcome, as they stumbled out of the gate and started the season a mediocre 3-3 (with losses to the Reskins and Dolphins - gross!). Add a 7-3 loss to the lowly Lions in week 14, and you've officially got yourself a rollercoaster of a season. It came down to a must-win situation in week 17 for the Pack, and win they did, edging the Bears 10-3. As the 6th seed, the Packers played every playoff game on the road and they managed to win handily in each of those games, including a 27 point thrashing of the 14-2 Falcons. The Packers were led by the stellar play of Aaron Rodgers all season. His ability to not only thread the needle on a 75-yd TD pass, but also pull through with a 25-yd scamper in the clutch makes him one of the most prolific QBs in the NFL (definitely more effective than that faggot, Tom Brady). On the defensive side of the ball, Clay Matthews has emerged as one of the best pass-rushers in the NFL and has been a headache for opposing QBs all season. Unlike the Steelers, the Packers really do not have a running game (James Starks? Child, please!), so in order for the Pack to win, they are going to need a massive game from Rodgers and Jennings on offense, and Matthews and Williams on defense. My game breaker: my boy, QB Aaron Rodgers. It's no secret that he is the key to the Packers success. Sure, Greg Jennings is an elite WR, but without Rodgers, his numbers would be mediocre at best (see: Steve Smith, Carolina Panthers lolz). In order for the Packers to win today, Rodgers is going to have to pick apart a very tough Steelers secondary and somehow find room to run himself. If Rodgers can crack off a few of those big scrambles he's known to do, the Steelers could be in trouble.

Rodgers is leet.

A blog post about the Super Bowl would not be complete without a prediction as to who is going to win, so allow me to put my reputation on the line here. At -2.5, I like the Packers to cover. Despite this being a matchup of the two best defenses in the NFL, I expect a somewhat high-scoring affair, so I predict that the game will go over the line of 44.5 points. And if I were to predict a score of the game, I'd say 27-20 for Green Bay. In terms of stats, I figure Rodgers is good for 275 yds passing, 40 yds rushing, and 3 combined TDs. For the Steelers, Mendenhall will carry the load with a combined 90 yds from scrimmage, with 2 TDs. As for the rest of the players, fuck 'em. I'm an amateur blog poster, not a Goddamn NFL analyst.

Let the debauchery known as Super Bowl Shenanigans commence in T-3 hours. See you all at the Bud Bowl! Go Packers!

I'll leave you all with this:

During an NFL game, the home team must provide the referees with 24 footballs for the game. That's a lot of fucking bacon!

P.S. I am aware that this post may not be as funny as the rest of my posts, but hey, it's about football, it's Sunday morning and Brett Favre won't stop texting me his dick pics. Speaking of which, check this out: